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Stupid

This particular piece is about me apologizing to my girl about everything that I did. I created differences in us that is leading to a catastrophe and m to be blamed for it. She gave me all she had and I did not respect that. I took things for granted and now its coming at me. Nothing else to write now as it won’t make much difference. 

Everyday I open my eyes
Thinking I could make it better
Hoping that I can undo my mistakes
All of them that I did to you.

All the time it’s the same thing,
My thoughts and memories becomes a spectre
I never realized it could lead to this,
Now I regret everything I did.

All I want to say is sorry,
Sorry for all the mistakes I did,
Only if you feel to forgive me,
I will take that chance to memorise the deeds I did.

Even if you can’t do it,
I won’t blame you even for a second,
It was all my fault to begin with,
All the stupid things I did.

So after a bit of thinking and a lot of discussion I decided almost an year ago to become a journalist and its working amazingly right now. I have had some very bad exposure to the real world that made me realize that things are not so simple as they seem. May it be the issues with Obama Care to world politics, from bad wars to Dubai’s expansion. They all had something or the other to teach and also while I am studying, this one person kept me strong. Helped me to move forward when I was at the lowest of my situation. So here is something that explains how the travel was through these things.

 

Hey you,

Thanks for standing beside,

Holding me like a pole,

Being my anchor,

You became the captain of my ship,

Gave me a dream to try,

Standing behind me whenever I needed you,

Being the soul of my work for the longest I have known…

Hey you,

I did things that were not the proudest of all,

You still decided to be part of it after all,

Being the crazy you are,

You still wiped my tears after bad sessions,

Gave me strength to hold on,

Told me the words that I wanted to hear,

Everyday before I closed my eyes.

Hey you,

Hold on to me till the end,

Cause I need you like the sun,

Be like the Frodo you are to me,

And one day when all this is done,

I will bring you all the rings I could find!!!

Long wait for closure.

Long wait for closure..

So hello fellas, its been a long one year and three months since I have posted anything on here and I really want to apologize for this, specially to the folks who read my amazingly awkward poems and supported them. Well the story behind this is not that great but I would be writing about what those months were about. Here goes nothing.

Things I did were bad,

But I never wanted them to be this way,

I really did make you sad,

But those were not my intentions anyway,

All I want is you beside me,

I don’t know if that is the way,

But long wait of closure has come past by,

And now I don’t know what else to say…

I did bad things,

I admit to them,

Please come back to me,

So I can work on it and make it better,

I know it would be difficult,

But that is what we been facing all the way,

Please don’t quit on me now,

I need you more then all,

I need the strength to carry on,

And can only find it from you now,

Situations might have turned around,

And there is no way that I can fix it,

But all I wish for you is to trust me…

I need to finish what I started,

And what I started was being with you,

Come back home cause I await you,

And cherish you as I never did before,

This closure is what I get from you,

This life is what I owe to you.

Untold stories…

Things that we always wanted,
So close but yet far away,
Could have been worse,
Or could have been good,
Spend some of the best days,
All went to dust,
Promised it would be good,
I thought I kept that,
Was good to see the face that I cherish,
Finally in front of me….

Bad or good I don’t know,
Time just flew by,
And I didn’t even know,
Wanted to do so much,
Yet was just locked in a closed space,
With nothing but just emotions,
And the last kiss good bye.

Funny how you think its all good,
But somehow gets thrown back to senses,
But wait, look at the time,
It seemed like a minute that passed,
Just the talks took the hours on the clock,
Half past one it is,
And we still can’t sleep,
Enough to a point,
That we discussed about Roman Empires!

A final kiss goodbye is what I needed,
Something which was not too much,
Stood waiting for you,
Just to know that you can’t see me,
Does hurt bad, I do feel this pain,
Now m sitting here in a corner,
Waiting for all of this to end.

As I sit here trying to think,
What could have been done better,
Their are a lot of thoughts,
Emotions, Laughter, Cries,
And Everything else that made this trip,
A trip that I never thought would happen,
But just made things special,
And well sad in the end.

 

 

 

For this to begin,
Had to convince myself before you,
Did so thinking of all the things,
All the thing you been through,
And that I been through,
What you were to a person close,
And what people thought of you,
What feelings I had for you…

So much of fighting,
So much of pain,
In the end I just knew this would happen,
In the end I knew it was just you,
Had no clue that it would come this far,
Never had the slightest idea of love,
But the only thing I wanna hear is,
That “I love you”…..

All those arguments,
All those parts where things seemed bad,
All the time when I just wanted it to end,
Still had to fight back,
Just a little hope that,
That is keeping me on a go,
For that one thing that world craves for,
Someone who says that they love you,
Before you let everything go.

Just the feeling of togetherness,
And the hope of a fine day,
Longing for the happiness that dwells within,
Thinking of the times,
When the morning was happy,
And the good night was a kiss,
Discussing the activities of the day,
Just to hug and forget about everything else.

Long waits, the awkward silence,
Feeling the warmth of your skin,
Thinking of what it would mean,
Thinking about the future we want to be in,
Just waiting for this time to end…

Things that we always wanted,
So close but yet far away,
Could have been worse,
Or could have been good,
Spend some of the best days,
All went to dust,
Promised it would be good,
I thought I kept that,
Was good to see the face that I cherish,
Finally in front of me….

Bad or good I don’t know,
Time just flew by,
And I didn’t even know,
Wanted to do so much,
Yet was just locked in a closed space,
With nothing but just emotions,
And the last kiss good bye.

Funny how you think its all good,
But somehow gets thrown back to senses,
But wait, look at the time,
It seemed like a minute that passed,
Just the talks took the hours on the clock,
Half past one it is,
And we still can’t sleep,
Enough to a point,
That we discussed about Roman Empires!

A final kiss goodbye is what I needed,
Something which was not too much,
Stood waiting for you,
Just to know that you can’t see me,
Does hurt bad, I do feel this pain,
Now m sitting here in a corner,
Waiting for all of this to end.

As I sit here trying to think,
What could have been done better,
Their are a lot of thoughts,
Emotions, Laughter, Cries,
And Everything else that made this trip,
A trip that I never thought would happen,
But just made things special,
And well sad in the end.

Daytime numb.

Things that I don’t say,
Normally I hide them away,
Its easier that way,
I could tell my story to others,
But m tired of seeing them laughing,
Sometimes its easy,
Sometimes its hard,
Things could get worse,
Its just feelings that set us apart.

Its hard sometimes to think,
I may not be the perfect one,
But you did more then me,’
Got hurt more then stories,
Then to get blamed for something I never did,
Though Funny it is how this works,
People think you’re smiling,
But deep down inside you’re dying…

Look at the sky, you say,
We would be together once, you say,
But the things you say and do are strong,
Nobody ever knew what was wrong,
Things went bad, and I got blamed,
For something I never did,
Looking the other way.

People say that what I say is bad,
I should control my words,
What do they know about those words?
It kills me everytime when I use those,
“I will wait a lifetime,
For you to see the truth”
I have been waiting too long for it,
And I have lost the patience to.

Broken Dreams

Crawled up and broken,
The time of year, its the spring,
Breath the fresh air,
So shall we,
Cause never do we know,
What falls upon thee.

Some people talk,
Some people just mind thier business,
Some learn to walk away,
Some become artists,
But never do people understand,
What makes them the way they are,
Looks like people found a way,
To find happiness in others demise.

Always got judged by others,
Gave everything to make them miserable,
All the reason given to them,
To end their life,
In guilt of surprise.

Gift the person you love a diamond,
Forget the people who got them,
Killed saving their family,
But no one cares cause they have the money,
Long the time is gone,
When people were recognized for their work,
Now is the time,
Its all distinguished by the way you walk,
“swag” is what people call it now,
Seems like earth is rotating on the axis of fat,
Running down in darkness,
With hatred in bread.

Do whatever you can to make someone happy,
But today no one even cares about that,
All they want is to end,
Listen to a querel,
And call it a day,
Maybe think about what they wanted to do,
And then just cry all night,
To see it all go.

Some still manage to show a way,
Kiss their wives,
Call their mothers,
But at the end its all about the work,
Cause nothing really matters,
Its all a fog.

Sometimes its all about holding on,
But whatever you do,
It just comes around and takes a toll on you,
Things can be as easy as taking a walk,
Or it can be as bad as Hell breaking loose,
It just depends on what you do,
Cause nothing else matters,
Not even your best wish coming true.

 

Lonesome Mind

Thought a lot, gave it a spin,
Made a decision,
Just grasped it in,
Wanted you to know, what is best,
I love you so much,
I hope you understand.

Not trying to mean any harm,
Just want you to be safe,
Don’t think of this as something wrong,
Sometimes what I do seem harsh,
But its all because,
I want you to be sound.

What I say can be bad,
What I do can look even sad,
People say what m doing is wrong,
They say you gonna run away,
If I don’t stop,
Thought please understand one thing,
People can be mean and revolting.

I just want you to be happy,
That makes my soul charm,
Looking at that smile,
Makes my little world bloom with hope,
Crying and writing this for you,
I know just doesn’t work a lot,
And m not the best one to be with,
Not the best looking one too,
But I try and that’s all I can do.

You say that the day we met was fine,
It was for me too,
Wanted to hug you as soon as I saw you,
But didn’t have that choice,
Wanted to take you in my arms,
And kiss you, that’s all I had in mind,
I don’t know why m writing this,
But I just have you on my mind…

Dark Abyss.

Lovely how it is,
You give your all to someone,
And it gets thrown into the sea,
Spend hours to make them happy,
But get left alone once needed,
Loosing that hope in humanity,
Here I walk a thousand steps of destiny,
Lurking in the shallow waters,
Waiting for something,
That shall set our minds free…

Looks like this will go on,
Sacrifices would be made,
Nothing would be given in return,
Its like a baby taking birth in crowd,
Looked upon as the mother cries in pain,
Left alone in the night,
As the breath is finally taken away,
Looks easy, easy as it is,
Work with the wave,
And let go of that image.

You’d think that I am no one,
But let me remind you,
Remind you of what you would have become,
Sat down in your pain,
Held you tight with nothing to blame,
Got a glimpse of your smile,
Just to make my day divine.

Really it is bad,
How things work out,
People promise you world and stars,
But can’t really fall in the parts,
Builds huge castels and promise them love,
But no one ever had a clue,
Castel is made of sand,
And love is nothing but desire.

Hold on to the feeling,
Thier just might be an answer,
You might already have the one,
But some people still wander,
Nothing is really as it seems,
Look at the reality and dwell within,
Don’t blame the situation,
What matters is what you do,
Just what you can do to solve them.

Cries and laughs they would be the same,
Lock behind thoughts,
They would never be the same,
Loosing my mind being so far away,
I guess I can’t really cry,
Neither come over this pain….

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